My name is William Speer and I’ll tell you a little of what is going on here on F-Pod (Level 3)
I woke up at 9.02:am to the dayroom hollering my name Big Will. He told me I had a kite (note/message on paper) So I sent my line to the dayroom it’s hard cause the doors are sealed up real good, so if anything is thicker than a legal pad you wont get it and then some cells are even less than that.
so I send my line pick up the kite but while I’m doing that I see the rank with a gas mask going out to the outside rec. yard and then I hear the pop of the first can of Gas then I hear a 2nd pop the Smokey gas quickly fills the yard and begins to come in the door. In to F-Section/pod area. The 5 man extraction team is there by the door waiting. The Sgt. waves his arm and the rec.yard gate is popped gas still pouring in and the team goes in.
Contact is made with the Inmate, Once the inmate is down he does not struggle he is stripped of all clothing on the ground checked and then boxers are put back on the inmate, he’s cuffed, shackled and told to walk. He refuses to walk in protest! He is Christopher Young protesting because his family/Mother was taken off his visitation list. They will not tell him why so he may properly grieve the issue. for over 6 months he tried the only thing he was able to learn was “for security reasons” he can’t grieve security so he protests.
They carry him back to his cell, he’s shouting “I want to see my Momma” “I will continue to do this until I get to see My mama” Once he is at the door he stands up and they take pictures front and back! They put him back in his cell remove the cuffs and shackles. The nurse ask if there are any injuries? He said No
All that time the Use of Force is over. They leave, he cleans up, we talk alittle, laugh, mess with him over who was on the team and settle back down for chow.
Lunch is beans in a tortilla, beans, corn that modified corn) I don’t like how it taste, and 2 spoons of hot sauce, then there’s burnt Mexican rice.
I’m told I'll be going out with John Quintenlla. So I get ready. I’ve got my list of issues and I go to Rec, with the intention of protesting. Making them gas me and extract me.
There's No Buddy Like A Brother
8 June 2009
27 January 2009
Will Talks To The New Guy
Hey who was that they just brought in? I don’t know he looked new.
What cell did thy put him in? I don’t know what cell number it is but it’s the one that guy who just got executed used to live in. Oh that’s next to Big Will (couple of guys talking in the day room)
I hear the gate pop so I go to the door and look out and I see 2 officers bringing in some new guy. He’s still wearing his county slides on his feet. It makes one think back when I first came to Death Row, but I had property coming from population, he doesn’t have anything.
He walks up to infront of my cell looking at his empty cell. The Officer is pushing the button to get the picket to roll the door, but the picket officer is looking the other way.
He looks up at me, I see the uncertainty in his face, so I ask his name, he tells me. I say I’m Big Will. I ask “do you have any property, he says “no they took it all in the county and wouldn’t let him bring it. I say well I don’t know what you lost but I can help you get what you need. He looks at me and says “oh no Man, I aint getting mixed up with none of that shit. I smile and laugh NO man Its cool, some of us know what its like to have anything and know you need stuff. It aint no game you got to pay anything back. Now Speer (the Officer chimes in) You cant even wait for us to leave before you try and corrupt this guy. (I smile) as he says trafficking and trading is against the rules. Now the door rolls and the officers go to put him in the cell and I tell him “I’l talk to you after they go” He (NG) says ok and steps in the cell. They remove the hand cuffs and walk off. I say y’all make sure he gets his necessities.
A few min goes by I hear the toilet flush and the sink water run then a sigh (NG) so this is it huh? I say yeah pretty much. They’ll bring you a mattress and necessities here shortly. He say’s hope so cuz I had to sleep on steel in the county for over 2 weeks and that was some rough sleepin.
Well they do that here too but that’s usually only when they want to punish you for whatever. Then they got ever excuse in the book as to why they can’t find a mattress but they’ll give you a blanket to sleep on. He’s just quiet (NG) Well how long have you been here? I tell him he’s quiet (NG) He asked how long he’s got I say honestly about 6-7 years but things could change for you (NG) How he says... Well law’s change all the time and I don’t know about your case, but maybe you will some action. He said yea i hope I do, cuz I don’t want to die here! I know the feeling. So is this where I’ll stay until the end? No they move us once every 6 months to a year. Oh cuz I heard that out there say I was going to the cell they just killed someone in (NG) Its kind of creepy living in a cell they killed someone in. I said well they didn’t kill him in that cell, but he did live there for a good year before they gave him his date, and moved him to death watch on A-Pod (NG) its still creepy, wel get used to it cuz every cell you go to will have had someone who lived in it and then got killed (NG) quiet and then Man that’s depressing. Yeah it is.
(NG) so what do we get here. Il show you my commissary list, but i hope you got your eye full of tv in the county cuz there aint none here. And you don’t get to use a phone either. Not like in the county. Once about every few months you might get to make a 5 minute phone call on a speaker phone with a ton of officers all around (NG) man thats all --- Yeah and believe me they make it such a hassle so you don’t even try. I don’t but I don’t really have anyone asking for one either (NG) yeah I ran up some pretty high phone bills in the county, so I know my people wont be asking for a while.. Speaking of your people Here let me get you some writing stuff and hygiene. Il holler and see what else we can get you. Some guys have already got stuff together and are sending it to you. Il pick it up and get over to you (NG) I sure do appreciate your help.
It's all good. I just ask to keep it real with me cuz all that what you did, who you were. Don’t mean shit anymore. You are in a new world now and your word and respect is all you got. (NG) I hear you man. I did over a year in the county I understand. No in county people ar still trying to hold on to who they were all that’s dead now. Its brand new. You can turn into a real piece of shit or be cool and have your respect. (NG) Hey I’ll fight for my respect aint nobody going to disrespect me!! Well you won’t be doing any fighting with inmates cuz you’ll never be around one to fight. Cell warrior is about all there is and that don’t get no respect not really. (NG) yeat that is not me, I was around alot of it in the county, Here get this (NG) Thanks what’s your name again Will , yeah Thanks Will (NG) I had a nick name I used to go by in the freeworld but the guy who gave it to me snitched on me and then lied on me to help send me to Death Row, so I don’t go by that anymore –Yeah nicknames can tell alot about a person’s character.
You know it’s friendly here like an old folk’s home really—for the most part you mind your own business, don’t look in people cells, respect your neighbours, try not to yell or bang at night. The officers come around every 30 minutes sometimes, but they will make rounds about every hour or two it depends on what’s going on. You can ask them for whatever you need but if they are busy they will forget so you’ll have to remind them---alot. Some of these officers got a real smart mouth too. So watch yourself or you’ll end up in a wreck. Try to keep things in perspective sometimes they just follow orders and don’t realize what they are saying or how its being taken---- Like sit on your bunk they only tell that at chow time--- but most will let you just stand back away from the door then open the slot to feed you (NG) oh so thats how they feed us, Yeah and the food is off and on good one meal bad the next ---- But its better than it was. Do you like to get out of your cell (NG) yeah but how? you get to rec 2 hours a day, 5 days aweek the Major is looking into 6 days a week not not yet. They will come around each morning and ask you going to rec, and shower, you say yes they tell you the projected time, but know shit changes around here so much, don’t count on it, cuz people V.R verbally refuse or some other officer does not like the way the other officer set up the rec, sheet and they change it, who knows just know it can all change. You’ll strip out every where you go, going and coming get used to them seeing you, cuz its your new way of life (NG) that sucks. You got visits on a phone in a booth with glass between y’all no contact for Death Row, If you don’t know ask, If you want to know about someone ask, I’ll tell you, cuz there are some real pieces of trash around here. You’ll see for the most part it’s best to be cautious and don’t take no cooked food from anyone until you get to know them, if you care about what they might put in it, again you got some real weirdos here.
This place is nasty too, always wash your hands especially out in the day room and if you pick something up off the run. Sometimes you can catch the SSI wiping the table with the same rag he just wiped the toilet and sink with. Try to keep your shower slides on especially in the shower to prolong you getting foot fungus--- but you’ll get it some how be it through the socks or sheets---Once you do get it you’ll have to put in a sick call form and well good luck with all that is all I’ll say--- It takes a while to get a sick call answered around here.
If you like to read, your people can order you books and magazines from stores and companys out there. But most everything is all bough off the commissary. It is alot cheaper than the county for some stuff and alot for others. Food is around 3-5am 10:30-12:30/1:00 ish and last chow is around 5-7 (NG) how long will it take for me to get my ID card? oh about 30 days or 50 (NG) man now I see why y’all hooked me up.
Well here they come with your stuff, I’ll let you go make your bed, kick back and I’ll holler at you later. (NG) yeah I am tired, thanks Man, Alright ....
What cell did thy put him in? I don’t know what cell number it is but it’s the one that guy who just got executed used to live in. Oh that’s next to Big Will (couple of guys talking in the day room)
I hear the gate pop so I go to the door and look out and I see 2 officers bringing in some new guy. He’s still wearing his county slides on his feet. It makes one think back when I first came to Death Row, but I had property coming from population, he doesn’t have anything.
He walks up to infront of my cell looking at his empty cell. The Officer is pushing the button to get the picket to roll the door, but the picket officer is looking the other way.
He looks up at me, I see the uncertainty in his face, so I ask his name, he tells me. I say I’m Big Will. I ask “do you have any property, he says “no they took it all in the county and wouldn’t let him bring it. I say well I don’t know what you lost but I can help you get what you need. He looks at me and says “oh no Man, I aint getting mixed up with none of that shit. I smile and laugh NO man Its cool, some of us know what its like to have anything and know you need stuff. It aint no game you got to pay anything back. Now Speer (the Officer chimes in) You cant even wait for us to leave before you try and corrupt this guy. (I smile) as he says trafficking and trading is against the rules. Now the door rolls and the officers go to put him in the cell and I tell him “I’l talk to you after they go” He (NG) says ok and steps in the cell. They remove the hand cuffs and walk off. I say y’all make sure he gets his necessities.
A few min goes by I hear the toilet flush and the sink water run then a sigh (NG) so this is it huh? I say yeah pretty much. They’ll bring you a mattress and necessities here shortly. He say’s hope so cuz I had to sleep on steel in the county for over 2 weeks and that was some rough sleepin.
Well they do that here too but that’s usually only when they want to punish you for whatever. Then they got ever excuse in the book as to why they can’t find a mattress but they’ll give you a blanket to sleep on. He’s just quiet (NG) Well how long have you been here? I tell him he’s quiet (NG) He asked how long he’s got I say honestly about 6-7 years but things could change for you (NG) How he says... Well law’s change all the time and I don’t know about your case, but maybe you will some action. He said yea i hope I do, cuz I don’t want to die here! I know the feeling. So is this where I’ll stay until the end? No they move us once every 6 months to a year. Oh cuz I heard that out there say I was going to the cell they just killed someone in (NG) Its kind of creepy living in a cell they killed someone in. I said well they didn’t kill him in that cell, but he did live there for a good year before they gave him his date, and moved him to death watch on A-Pod (NG) its still creepy, wel get used to it cuz every cell you go to will have had someone who lived in it and then got killed (NG) quiet and then Man that’s depressing. Yeah it is.
(NG) so what do we get here. Il show you my commissary list, but i hope you got your eye full of tv in the county cuz there aint none here. And you don’t get to use a phone either. Not like in the county. Once about every few months you might get to make a 5 minute phone call on a speaker phone with a ton of officers all around (NG) man thats all --- Yeah and believe me they make it such a hassle so you don’t even try. I don’t but I don’t really have anyone asking for one either (NG) yeah I ran up some pretty high phone bills in the county, so I know my people wont be asking for a while.. Speaking of your people Here let me get you some writing stuff and hygiene. Il holler and see what else we can get you. Some guys have already got stuff together and are sending it to you. Il pick it up and get over to you (NG) I sure do appreciate your help.
It's all good. I just ask to keep it real with me cuz all that what you did, who you were. Don’t mean shit anymore. You are in a new world now and your word and respect is all you got. (NG) I hear you man. I did over a year in the county I understand. No in county people ar still trying to hold on to who they were all that’s dead now. Its brand new. You can turn into a real piece of shit or be cool and have your respect. (NG) Hey I’ll fight for my respect aint nobody going to disrespect me!! Well you won’t be doing any fighting with inmates cuz you’ll never be around one to fight. Cell warrior is about all there is and that don’t get no respect not really. (NG) yeat that is not me, I was around alot of it in the county, Here get this (NG) Thanks what’s your name again Will , yeah Thanks Will (NG) I had a nick name I used to go by in the freeworld but the guy who gave it to me snitched on me and then lied on me to help send me to Death Row, so I don’t go by that anymore –Yeah nicknames can tell alot about a person’s character.
You know it’s friendly here like an old folk’s home really—for the most part you mind your own business, don’t look in people cells, respect your neighbours, try not to yell or bang at night. The officers come around every 30 minutes sometimes, but they will make rounds about every hour or two it depends on what’s going on. You can ask them for whatever you need but if they are busy they will forget so you’ll have to remind them---alot. Some of these officers got a real smart mouth too. So watch yourself or you’ll end up in a wreck. Try to keep things in perspective sometimes they just follow orders and don’t realize what they are saying or how its being taken---- Like sit on your bunk they only tell that at chow time--- but most will let you just stand back away from the door then open the slot to feed you (NG) oh so thats how they feed us, Yeah and the food is off and on good one meal bad the next ---- But its better than it was. Do you like to get out of your cell (NG) yeah but how? you get to rec 2 hours a day, 5 days aweek the Major is looking into 6 days a week not not yet. They will come around each morning and ask you going to rec, and shower, you say yes they tell you the projected time, but know shit changes around here so much, don’t count on it, cuz people V.R verbally refuse or some other officer does not like the way the other officer set up the rec, sheet and they change it, who knows just know it can all change. You’ll strip out every where you go, going and coming get used to them seeing you, cuz its your new way of life (NG) that sucks. You got visits on a phone in a booth with glass between y’all no contact for Death Row, If you don’t know ask, If you want to know about someone ask, I’ll tell you, cuz there are some real pieces of trash around here. You’ll see for the most part it’s best to be cautious and don’t take no cooked food from anyone until you get to know them, if you care about what they might put in it, again you got some real weirdos here.
This place is nasty too, always wash your hands especially out in the day room and if you pick something up off the run. Sometimes you can catch the SSI wiping the table with the same rag he just wiped the toilet and sink with. Try to keep your shower slides on especially in the shower to prolong you getting foot fungus--- but you’ll get it some how be it through the socks or sheets---Once you do get it you’ll have to put in a sick call form and well good luck with all that is all I’ll say--- It takes a while to get a sick call answered around here.
If you like to read, your people can order you books and magazines from stores and companys out there. But most everything is all bough off the commissary. It is alot cheaper than the county for some stuff and alot for others. Food is around 3-5am 10:30-12:30/1:00 ish and last chow is around 5-7 (NG) how long will it take for me to get my ID card? oh about 30 days or 50 (NG) man now I see why y’all hooked me up.
Well here they come with your stuff, I’ll let you go make your bed, kick back and I’ll holler at you later. (NG) yeah I am tired, thanks Man, Alright ....
9 January 2009
Thank You Brother
Good evening its 6:42pm January 9th 2009.
I wanted to stop everything and write a few lines about how we are treated here by these officers. Most of them are cold, hard, and emotionless to us. They come by and just call you your cell number “50 cell You going to Rec?” “50 cell you going to the shower?” “50 cell you eating chow?”, stuff like that, hardly ever are you called by your name. Most other times it’s just being your number.
Well there’s this new older officer he brought me back from visit the other day and was not the same stern cold officer like the rest, he chatted about who I visited and chatted the other officer even made a joke at the gate where a Sgt. was closing it he tried to stop it and we walked on smiling and laughing. Well i was stripped then searched and taken on to my cell. Then tonight it’s late as 2nd shift is feeding our food (chow time) well they ran out of trays just before they got to me, so that new officer had to go get me one. So I waited, then he came up to my cell and said “here you go brother” I was shocked but, before he could walk away I said thank you! That’s something to add to me 18 years and never are we treated as an equal, another human being to them. That made me feel very good and made me smile! And then when they came to pick up trays he said “thank you! to every person who gave him a tray as he passed their cell. I smiled again then turned as I thought abut that man, that Officer. My smile faded cause I know he will not last they will change him or they will run him off. Just like they did Mr.Wood and that saddens me until they do, Keep on being you!
Thank You Brother
By Will speer. 2009.
I wanted to stop everything and write a few lines about how we are treated here by these officers. Most of them are cold, hard, and emotionless to us. They come by and just call you your cell number “50 cell You going to Rec?” “50 cell you going to the shower?” “50 cell you eating chow?”, stuff like that, hardly ever are you called by your name. Most other times it’s just being your number.
Well there’s this new older officer he brought me back from visit the other day and was not the same stern cold officer like the rest, he chatted about who I visited and chatted the other officer even made a joke at the gate where a Sgt. was closing it he tried to stop it and we walked on smiling and laughing. Well i was stripped then searched and taken on to my cell. Then tonight it’s late as 2nd shift is feeding our food (chow time) well they ran out of trays just before they got to me, so that new officer had to go get me one. So I waited, then he came up to my cell and said “here you go brother” I was shocked but, before he could walk away I said thank you! That’s something to add to me 18 years and never are we treated as an equal, another human being to them. That made me feel very good and made me smile! And then when they came to pick up trays he said “thank you! to every person who gave him a tray as he passed their cell. I smiled again then turned as I thought abut that man, that Officer. My smile faded cause I know he will not last they will change him or they will run him off. Just like they did Mr.Wood and that saddens me until they do, Keep on being you!
Thank You Brother
By Will speer. 2009.
5 January 2009
Good Things Are Happening
Greetings and Good Morning!
Here it is another morning, A little cold here too! I was woke up to bam bam (banging on my door) 50 cell, you want necessities?! Me half awake Yeah.... I need a towel. I wash most other stuff only sheets and towel is all I turn in. Socks, boxers, face towel, all that I was oh my jumper too.. But I just exchanged my jumper for another new one... Man it’s smaller cuz when I went to button it up it was tight on my belly (: and then if that’s not bad enough as I bent down to go out to my visit the seem in the crotch pops!!! I’m like NO!! my eyes got big I just knew that was bad but it was ok no tears only excess threat weeewww!! :)
I have put on weight though as a guy down the run spreads all the time and he sends me tacos good good good !!! I make some good tacos too all kinds. I even make tamales jumbo not those little ones they take way too long to make, but I’m thinking I will be making some here before too long, but just the other day I made some for Christmas even though it was after xmas and I shared them with 3 guys and they all loved them one buddy who I call “Yes” was telling me he’s going to buy the stuff on commissary so I’ll make some more that made me feel good as I laughed and said Oh yeah! He was then saying Oh I didn’t mean it like that...But it’s all good cuz they were good. I am waiting on Commissary today so that will be a good thing as I’m out of stamps again... Well mostly out of everything!! Not much coming though I got a whole wopping $12 for Christmas from a German group!!! That guy that has been spreading with me has alot of help and that’s another reason he’s doing it cause he can, well and then it does help to be good people (Smile) He’s going to be buying some art work from me to help me too, so thats good cuz I was robbed of some I had done for Christmas the guy got himself moved grrrrrr I sure needed that money for Christmas it made a bunch of my cards and letters late!! I just need to focus better... I’ve been selling chicken trays to help myself too, my neighbour loves his chicken, hey whatever works, but anyway 2009 is going to be an Awesome year, good things are happening and they will keep on happening :) my love to all and a very happy 2009 to you?
Always with my best, Keep your head up and stay strong!
Here it is another morning, A little cold here too! I was woke up to bam bam (banging on my door) 50 cell, you want necessities?! Me half awake Yeah.... I need a towel. I wash most other stuff only sheets and towel is all I turn in. Socks, boxers, face towel, all that I was oh my jumper too.. But I just exchanged my jumper for another new one... Man it’s smaller cuz when I went to button it up it was tight on my belly (: and then if that’s not bad enough as I bent down to go out to my visit the seem in the crotch pops!!! I’m like NO!! my eyes got big I just knew that was bad but it was ok no tears only excess threat weeewww!! :)
I have put on weight though as a guy down the run spreads all the time and he sends me tacos good good good !!! I make some good tacos too all kinds. I even make tamales jumbo not those little ones they take way too long to make, but I’m thinking I will be making some here before too long, but just the other day I made some for Christmas even though it was after xmas and I shared them with 3 guys and they all loved them one buddy who I call “Yes” was telling me he’s going to buy the stuff on commissary so I’ll make some more that made me feel good as I laughed and said Oh yeah! He was then saying Oh I didn’t mean it like that...But it’s all good cuz they were good. I am waiting on Commissary today so that will be a good thing as I’m out of stamps again... Well mostly out of everything!! Not much coming though I got a whole wopping $12 for Christmas from a German group!!! That guy that has been spreading with me has alot of help and that’s another reason he’s doing it cause he can, well and then it does help to be good people (Smile) He’s going to be buying some art work from me to help me too, so thats good cuz I was robbed of some I had done for Christmas the guy got himself moved grrrrrr I sure needed that money for Christmas it made a bunch of my cards and letters late!! I just need to focus better... I’ve been selling chicken trays to help myself too, my neighbour loves his chicken, hey whatever works, but anyway 2009 is going to be an Awesome year, good things are happening and they will keep on happening :) my love to all and a very happy 2009 to you?
Always with my best, Keep your head up and stay strong!
1 January 2009
Big 50
Here I sit thinking about Big 50, he was someone on D.R that I met and became cool with but, really beyond that he was very respectful and kind. I know nothing of his case but, I know his character as time passed his actions as with us all our actions speak louder than any words. I cared for him and now he is dead another victim of the State. They call it justice but, it’s never about justice: it’s about revenge. Someone being hurt and wanting to hurt someone else but, not only that there is not a standard to the political game what is played one would think that DR has worst of the worst, but that is not true, sure there are some very gruesome cases people on DR have but, there are people I’ve met and know on G.P who have cases so awful people around me look like boy scouts. I do not say that under minding anyone’s death, as life is precious, but to elaborate on the political game D.A’s and special prosecutors have in picking and choosing who they seek death or do not seek death for, how is it in one case the State focuses age as an issue. Yet life is beyond age how can you choose an old over a young, or a young over a middle aged person, or a man over a girl or woman over a boy or any other combination, simple you can’t but, that is part of the game the State plays.
My point to all this is, I am just as much a victim of the State as someone’s family is a victim of a crime because my tears and pain for losing a friend hurt no less than theirs! I am human and people on Death row are human, when the state kills one of us, it is just as painful as any loved one and that pain the state calls justice. I pray we all will receive comfort and that our pain of loss is short.
Peace and regards to you all.
Will Speer
My point to all this is, I am just as much a victim of the State as someone’s family is a victim of a crime because my tears and pain for losing a friend hurt no less than theirs! I am human and people on Death row are human, when the state kills one of us, it is just as painful as any loved one and that pain the state calls justice. I pray we all will receive comfort and that our pain of loss is short.
Peace and regards to you all.
Will Speer
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