31st May 2011

Here I sit waking  up drinking my cold coffee from breakfast. Hey don’t knock it, it works just the same lol.
Well sick call just came through and I did get another sick call slip The Nurse said, she would try to get the Dr. to request to get me pulled out today, we’ll see, but as I have been writing, on the 14th I wrote how a nurse came to my door and I thought I was going to get some help, she never even logged it in the computer, so the meds will not come as she didn’t talk to a Doctor. So I’ve been waiting on something that’s never coming ….. deep sigh,
       
You know all the nurses tell me you are not getting medical help because you are being bad. So they deny me medical help because I protest! Because I was willing to do the extreme to be heard, I would fight back…..I did not just go and sit on my bunk and accept the way things were, I stepped out to make a difference .
         
Self sacrifice…  I’ve lost pen pals, I’ve lost my main support all gone because they could not understand. No would not understand. They would tell me let someone else do it, or I can not support you because you are rebelling against good people who only work there. You catch cases you fight back. I do not know who you are!
       
Huh?!!  What?!!  Are you serious wow! I was stunned but all I can say is it hurts and it hurts my commissary but I am the one who lives here You don’t.! If I have to be a puppet to get your help, I don’t need it! I’ll make it.
       
Please understand I am not an ungrateful man, I am thankful for so much but to be controlled for commissary and live in a place that I get no medical help when I need it, the place is nasty. I go to the shower and it smells like mildew!  There is rust all over the door and door frame. I so wish I could get a picture of how the inside of my shower looks and put a scratch and sniff sticker on it, so you can get the full effect. I’ve got a good humor but still nasty is nasty.
         
Right  now I’m just feeling a little don and it is really depressing Maybe I’ll get medical help we’ll see. I’ve been battling with high blood pressure for over a couple years now but It really got bad when I would get dizzy just from a light work out, or go to the shower and feel like I’m going to fall out. I did fall out one time in my cell and it was the day I almost fell out in the shower. I told the officer but he did not tell anybody cuz “I was busy and forgot he says, so by the time 4 hours had past I fell out they found me on the floor as they were passing out trays. Sad and scary too..
         
I need people  “out there” to help us “in here” because as long as it stays on the unit level nothing will change. But that goes back to spite. Again back on the 14th  I had jacked the run to get help and it worked. Well now the powers that be told the nurses DO NOT GIVE out ibuprofen anymore only a Dr. can give it out. How sad is that, “do not help the trouble maker”  Do not pull Speer out of his cell, he might do something! (Protest) but they will not use that word cuz that brings understanding as to why. So they ignore the elephant in the room and just say I’m trouble, a problem, all they can do to down play my actions of protest.  When all the while I am screaming for help!
         
Please help us! help me! Well I waited all day  its after 4.20pm, so no medical for me today. Put off Put off, Put off !!!

The protest continues
Will

Poem - FREEDOM IN YOU

FREEDOM IN YOU

I am so lonely without you

Yearning for you, desiring you

My heart beats for you

My soul longs for you

My Dreams fly with you,

Wanting to hold you and kiss you.

Snuggle with you

To feel your breath against my neck

To feel the softness of your lips and tenderness of your caress

I wait for you  to take all my fears, pains, guilt,

Sorrows and shame

To feel the warmth that only you can fill me with

To know I have life in you,

No worries, No doubts with you.

To trust you fully and completly

Come to me, for you are my world my everything

Break these chains that bind me and free me to  save with you

~ Written By Will Speer ~

30th May 2011

In Honor to Will's Aunt Pat

I’m feeling a bit all over the place right now lots and lots of stuff to write about but my hand is no match for my brain (smile) it just can’t keep up
         
Well I got a visit last night wooo hoooo!!!!  Yes, Aunt Pat and Uncle David! It was a surprise visit too, Uncle David got me lots of goodies.  My Aunt Pat bless her heart, it is so hard on her to come up here as she is very sick and she’s taking medication to help her, yet it’s hurting her also as it makes her immune system weak. What breaks my heart the most is she’s scared, sure she’s scared of the unknown like we all are. But she is scared of breaking her promise to me!
         
She promised me years ago that she would always be there for me and don’t you know she has. Just like now she’s there for me, even when her body does not allow it. That is what means the world to me she’s not breaking a promise to me and I love her 100x more because she is such an awesome woman!  You know she has taught me so much over the years about strength and what real courage is, she taught me about true loyalty, of sticking through to the end.  Today when the times get hard, people just bail and leave you holding the bag, but that’s not what she taught me. And love my family couldn’t do it right for each other. Both Mon and Dad remarried a few times, yet through all the ummm (bad) times she was there and through all the good times she was there and even through all the inbetween times guess what she was there. She’s been my friend, my Mom for so long… I just want to honor her and say I LOVE YOU AUNT PAT,  with all my heart. You are my Rock and you always will be.

25th May 2011

  I am out on the rec yard thinking of how I am going to protest today. My legs are swollen and hurting, I can get no medical help they put the off and put me off, and as I’m walking around the Rec Yard (Outside F-POD) (On Monday Level 3 and 2’s do rec restriction). The guy on the other side, kicks a dead bird to my side of the rec.yard as there is a metal divider of heavy duty mesh and bars. I said, that’s still out here?
         
I protested on the 17th and talked of that very issue, Unsanitary conditions! They do not clean the Rec.yard at all only when they are made to do it. Stating they do not have enough help. Well they will not allow US to go out and clean it, so we NEED someone else to. Yet they ignore it. So at the end of my rec.after I stripped out. I pulled my left arm bacn in once the officer put one of the hand restraints on it. “wow look at that, how did that get there big smile. Ive made up my mind my protest is handcuffing myself to the chin up bar. Sgt Vagina (swine oops thats what the inmates call him) Sgt valentine came out there with the team all suited up to gas me. He ordered me to submit the hand restraints. Knowing I could not comply with that order because they wanted to gas me, but because I was not able to comply with the order, they came out with the spray can of gas and told me if I resisted I would be gassed. The team came over to the chin up bar and held my arms as a 5th officer uncuffed one side and pulled them behind my back. They then kneed me down and began putting leg restraints on my legs, Due to my high blood pressure and poor circulation my left leg is so swollen the leg irons do not fit.
           
So what do they do, they force the too small leg irons on me hurting me. Something serious! I could not walk due to the discomfort and pain. They laid me on my side put me in a basket to carry me. They then placed me up on a gurney and wheeled me into the pod.  I was giving a speech on why I was protesting naming Issues! Like abuse of authority, Unsanitary conditions, poor medical help, that we don’t even get. Food loafs being used as punishment. (Food loaf) is to be the same food on the tray just in a loaf. Well they were only fixing corn bread and mixed vegetables with slivers of salami every now and then. Yet when we bring it to the attention of the officer well that’s what they sent for you, Rank says “I’ll look into it.  I wrote I-60 (inmate request forms to the kitchen capt.Jolly again “I’ll look into it”. Yet nothing is ever done!  So on we protest.  But back to me being packed back to my cell they lift me off the gurney in he basket and carry me up the stairs. Once at my door they set the basket down, lift me out of it and when the Lt. wanted to cut off my clothes!!!! I said “I’ve already been searched  ask Sgt Belhap he was there and don’t you know he said “I didn’t see! I was so mad he stood right there and lied. How did I get the cuffs if I had not been searched, so they humiliated me forced my shorts down to see my front and back lifted my shirt to see front and back and dug all in my underarms.
           
Then put me back in the basket and carried me into my cell. Officer Riley is a Cluts!

As he stands up some how he knocks off my table 2 small cups of juice, I large cup of juice and a tray of food all on to the floor. They roughed me up pretty good in the cell hurt my right shoulder and my legs then they leave.

That is the most painful UOF I had ever been in, and I never resisted.

The protest continues!!

20th May 2011

Well today I was flat out denied a shower because the Sgt. knew he was going to have a UOF (protest) My main protest is medical.  Each of us have issues that affect us more than others. But we have united to protest them all. Sgt. Grigsby came with the 2-Pod officers to pull me out for a shower. But before it got to that. I read the UOF police on the use of restraints.

The Procedure Reads:
Physical or mechanical restraint may be used to enforce agency policy and procedure, which includes the following situations. However, restraints shall not be used in such a way that is more confining than requird by the circumstances nor shall it be used as discipline. Due consideration must be given to the comfort and welfare of an offender, commensurate with an adequate degree of safety and level of restraint.
a.     Appropriate situations in which to restrain an offender.
5. When escorting administrative segregation, solitary or death row
     offenders, in accordance with post order (POJ-07,006 “segregation
    Officer”.

In the legal case Hudson v Mc Millian it talks about, there is a (routine discomfort) when placed in restraints.
Because of my size a single set of cuffs and normal (e.g irons) are too small. So to put me in them is painful. Think of it like this, Put your arms behind your back as far as you can, then have someone twist them even farther and restrain them like that.  My right shoulder feels like it is being pulled out of place just by walking like that.

So now we come back to the shower issue, Sgt. Grigsly sees and understands I need double cuffs minimum. But still refused to put me in anything more . He said his hands are tied and I said, even after you have seen policy that tells you otherwise, he said “Yes! It is a form of torture and it is a violation of my 8th Amendment against cruel and unusual punishment. Because that “Is” what is being done.

The Admin is using restraints as a punishment to try to curb or stop my protesting. I talk to Lt. Cabines he said, the reason they removed my medical pass was they showed the video of me handcuffing myself to the chin up bar and if i was that limber I did not need a medical pass. Now this is typical TDC for you.  What does me being able to lift my hands up over my head have to do with me putting them behind my back which is what my pass was for.

This is another reason we are protesting, you show the policy to the and they still do what they want until someone  “Out There” makes them do what is right.

What is sad is the Admin has taken things to a level of being personal. They are not doing what is right out of spite and that is what is th real travesty of it all.  So do we quit, ….I just don’t think so buddy!!!! Smile  I am about Sacrifice, so I will continue. I am not a horse to be broke I am hard headed and I’ve got a little spite in me too. So I will continue out of spite as well.

Until Next time
Will.

18th May 2011

LT. Helm had a minor UOF on me to put me in hand restraints, pulling my arms behind my back in such a way as to hurt me. Again not documented
(at my cell door)

***Please Note Latest update****

Steven Wood has now come off of his hunger strike

Steven has an execution date of  13th September 2011

******STEVEN WAS EXECUTED 13TH SEPT 2011******

17th May 2011

Officer Floyd had a minor UOF on me to put me in hand restraints again twisting my arms behind my back hurting me. Again not Documented (at my cell door)

16th May 2011

Funday Monday – Turned out to be not so much fun. As Steven Woods has joined the protest. But that is a good thing, what is bad is he is going on a Hunger strike to kill himself. Steven Wood is a friend of mine so that hurts me to know he is doing that to himself. See I know he will go through with it. In early 2007 he did a hunger strike and went 27 days it almost killed him then as his body began to shut down on him. He has hep.c  and his kidneys are already damaged from his life style before coming to Death Row. I am for sacrifice as Sacrifices is the only way change will come. But to forfeit ones life goes beyond my belief. Again this is my friend not just some inmate.  To me Death is not the answer. Yes I have changed my point of view and even wrote about it. As it only causes more pain,more victims. Not even for the man who abused me and killed my Mother. But that is something else.

Please help me, help us! I am very worried about Steve!


---- Later ----

I am away from him, so my update may be slow.  Also I had  a Minor UOF (Use of Force) done on me by Officer Sperlock who forced  my arms behind my back in such a way as to hurt me. It was not documented as a UOF. This was done at my cell door.

14th May 2011

OMG!!!!! I actually talked to a nurse today.  YES!!!!!  and she came to talk to me. So now maybe I might get something going on the medical front.

On the protest front it’s real quiet over here and that’s what they wanted to bust us up cuz “we feed off each other”  So this is their way of saying STOP.

The first shift will not pull me out of my cell, while all the rank is here they wait until night shift comes on, and nobody’s here to pull me out, any little thing to try and stop us.. I jack the run anyway as I’ve not had clean necessities in a week! and I needed some ibuprofen  for my back. Well guess what all of a sudden they go find the necessity  key and get me clean sheets and a towel and even got me some tooth brushes and tooth powder! How about that and the nurse got me some ibuprofen too!  IT DOES WORK The food has been hot here too. F-Pod food cart is just trash!  I know I said I’m on a section all by myself now, but also have been moved to A-Pod. So i know that does make a difference as this is their show pod.  Now I’m their prize display.  Don’t feed the Bear Extras!

Funday Monday is coming up! We’ll see what good stories there is to tell.
Smile, and peace, joy and happiness to you all.

Always with my best to you and yours
Will

12th May 2011

Just another day, the loneliness is getting in a little more now as there is no one here, so I sleep a little more and read a lot.  I just finished Excavation by James Rollins very good writer. I’ve read Amazonia and the Judas Strain both great books. I can’t wait to read more of his work.

Let’s see what the future holds—As the Protest Continues………

Maybe I’ll get to go to Medical
yeah Right!

11th May 2011

I see 2 people I believe to be from Huntsville outside my cell as the officers are feeding me, I tell them I want to talk to them. They act like they do not hear me and walk away. I wanted to talk to them and tell them why Officers are being assaulted, why we are having so many Use of Force’s.  Things are not right. They do not follow policy, If they did we would not have half as much problems that we do. But I did not know the officer broke the lock of my tray slot box and it needed to be fixed well. They came and fixe it alright. They put the lock on backwards, so the box would not open. It was locked closed. I find this out as they are going to feed me and can’t open. 2 hours later the Lt comes down and fixes the lock. Then 30-45 minutes later I get a tray. I won’t lie I wolfed it down as I was hungry.. watered down spaghetti.

10th May 2011

I am woke up to some banging. I go to the door and the 5 man team is taking my Comrade Christopher Young, down the stairs.  I holler  wha’ts up? Then I hear the Sgt. Timmons order him to walk to his newly assigned cell. Young refuses they roll him on his stomach and he looks up calling me Twin, as that is what we call each other..(hes black Im white) but we’ve had each others back for years) I see the hurt and pain in his eyes it kills me. My friend is taken away,, the shakedown team comes on the pod to pack his property.  As they are packing it up someone yells team on the pod, and they came to me, they are going to move me too. I tell them I need special hand cuffs due to my medical pass. The Sgt said No because I had slipped them I was to be placed in a set of regular cuffs, now I’m a big man 6’1 and 330lbs You have to force me in to them which hurts cuz it pulls my shoulders like they want to come out of place especially my right shoulder due to it being hurt in a use of force protest! and my wrist any amount of time in them cuts off the blood flow. That with the pressure is not nice. It’s painful to say the least! And then there is the leg iron issue, they want to put leg irons on me everywhere I go. Ok but the leg Iron is too small for my left ankle. Due to high blood pressure and poor blood circulation my legs swell up on me. So they have to force the iron on to my leg which hurts and cuts into my skin.  I’ve got scabs on both sides of my ankle because of this!  On 25th April 2011 I cuffed myself to the outside rec yard chin up bar in protest of medical and the inhumane conditions blood from me from 17th April in a MUOF  I cut my thumb on the screen and bleed just outside the rec yard door. There was a dead bird there too.

I'll write about that stuff later, sorry yes I am way behind (smile)  But the point is we get no medical, they take our sick calls but we do not go anywhere, sick call after sick call nothing!  I was able to get a night shift Lt. to get me to medical, but there are no Dr at night so  nothing happens.

An officer told me and the nurse secenginer (or something like that) said we do not get to see Medical because we are acting up! Protesting because we are protesting we can not get medical help. I’ve been dealing with lower back pain, I believe i’s my kidneys but because I can urinate ok they do nothing. I will continue to protest and fight for myself and the betterment of all inmates.  I was moved to a cell in a section all by myself total isolation. This is to try and stop me protesting. I don’t think so buddy!!

9th May 2011

I can tell this is going to be a long day.. Officer Seals came around asking about people going to rec and setting you up for what round you will go outside. 2 people out of F-Section at a time because there are 2 outside yards. It was set up with my neighbour to go out 3rd round.  Cool so I  go to sleep and wake up to a team coming on the pod. So I get up and see they had changed the Rec schedule all up. They did not put out the people who was scheduled to go out, they put my neighbour and Adams…  Well Mr Adams is protesting along with us, he tells th camera his issues as tey are packing him back to his cell, he gave a good speech they put out 2 more people. While these people are out, I find out that the Lt. has told the officers to not pull me out of my cell.  But the officer gives the excuse he’s checking into my Leg irons. 3rd round they skip me and put out Robert Will and Elijah Joubert. But before he goes out  we find out Officer Seals vr’d my comrade Youngs rec. Now that is bad way out of line and wrong. Not acceptable. The officer comes back and says Lt.Tolly did it. Lt.Tolly will make an issue or cause a problem just to come and fix it once the trouble gets started.  So he can say I fixed it.  Well it backfired on him cuz now both guys are laying it down and making the team pack them back to their cells. Now they put the section on “Behavioural lock down” .  It should have never gone to that, but it did and know we are mad.!  3 officers got assaulted because of that, 2 had urine mixed with something else and It was just straight urine. FOUL VERY FOUL  all of it all because Lt. Tolly wants to take recs from people and cause problems!  Sad very sad,but its the law of parties gray takes from us gray pays from us. They use the law of parties against us so now we are using it against them. Its working too!!

5th May 2011

LEVEL 3 F-POD

I was so looking forward to a special (lunch tray) today and it was trash! I told my comrade we need more people to go on hunger strike cuz that’s the only time the food really does get better, but as soon as no one is on hunger strike its back to trash.

May 5th is a holiday here in Texas, it has to do with the Alamo, Sad story really but hey what ever gets us good food works for me, except we got no good food.

Well its later in the evening and I see the staff are so short handed that a Sgt (Sgt Beverly) has to work on the pod as a pod officer—Inmate Robert Will is scheduled to go to rec, the Sgt. is in a pissy mood for having to work on the pod, so he is giving Rob Will a hard time. They are going back and forth when Sgt.Beverly shouts at Rob will  “I don’t care about you or your homeboys, They are going to kill y’all anyways”   That caused the whole section to go off. The Lt, came on the pod  and removed the Sgt. The pod was now settling down and everything was going good. They came and got me and put me in the shower, as I finished with my shower drying off I hear Sgt. Beverlys voice again, So I lookout tthe little window and ask the other officer Kelly who is that?  He tells me it is Sgt. Beverly  I give a deep sigh, thinking back to what he had just said,  a couple hours ago.

As I’m being hand cuffed to come out of the shower, the Sgt. puts (LEG IRONS) on my wrists, and he puts them on very loose too. So as i came out the left hand slipped off into my hand and I panicked as the shower door was opening, So I punched Sgt Beverly in the face the other officer jumped on me and they took me to the ground while I was down on the ground Sgt Beverly pulled his can of gas (mace) and sprayed me in the face.  He sprayed it so close the splash got all over the other officer. I could not see but I was fine other than that. They were coughing and carrying on.  After about 5 minutes the gas starts to burn and boy howdy my face was on fire, it got on my face, chest, stomach and arms, so once I was placed in the cell I went to wash it off, because it’s an oil base you just smear it around at first but as you use soup it comes off but the burn, now that stays for a while, even once the burn is gone and you go to sleep it comes back, Skin touching skin is bad for 2 days you will feel it and I did.